Sink or Swim
by crossmyheart1207
Summary: Makoto and Haru have a relationship that only they truly understand. This is just a glimpse into that. A collection of drabbles/oneshots that don't relate to each other. Love imminent. MakoHaru.
1. Security Blanket

The sky was a clear, rich blue and it made Haruka Nanase think of the ocean as he walked to school, his best friend chatting idly at his side. Haru glanced to his left and watched the waves gently roll up the shore and then back out, wishing for the feeling of water against his skin. He'd barely been out of the water for half an hour and already he was aching to be back in.

"Haru-!" Suddenly he was pulled to the side, stumbling as he fell into his best friend and they crashed into a building to the right.

Stunned, they both straightened up. Haruka looked from his friend, Makoto, to where he had been walking moments before, only to see what the problem was. A large hole was right in Haru's path, a large hole that he hadn't noticed.

"I'm sorry, Haru," Makoto apologized, straightening his shirt and pulling his tie a little tighter, "But I knew you didn't notice it and I didn't want you to hurt your ankle. You couldn't swim with a hurt ankle."

Makoto smiled sheepishly as they returned to the sidewalk and began walking again. Haruka mildly acknowledged the apology before they lapsed back into a silence. Haru stared out at the water again, but this time he was thinking about something else. How was it that Makoto knew him so well? He could tell with just a single glance that Haru wasn't about to notice the hole. Who else could do that? It didn't even take Haru a second to know the answer to that question: Nobody.

Nobody knew him as well as Makoto did. Nobody even knew him half as well as Makoto did.

He spared a glance to his right. Makoto was taller than him, but he never seemed to know what to do with his height. He was a gentle giant.

Makoto noticed Haru's look and turned a questioning gaze on him. Haru turned back to the ocean without offering any words and Makoto just continued on, not bothering to ask. Why not? Because he knew Haruka would offer an explanation if he wanted to give one, and that there was no reason to push for one.

A strange feeling settled in the pit of Haru's stomach. Makoto was his best friend, his security blanket and the definition of comfort. Makoto was everything Haruka was not, and for that reason they worked flawlessly together.

Makoto was quiet and gentle and did not like hurting people. Haruka didn't like hurting people either, but he wasn't afraid to tell someone no or that they needed to go away. Although, that was the majority of the talking he did. Most of the time, Makoto spoke for him. Makoto always knew what Haru was thinking or what he would say and was fully capable of speaking in his place. Some people seemed to find that strange, but it worked for them and they were both comfortable with it.

Haru continued to ponder this as they finished their walk to school. He liked their relationship. It had always made him comfortable and allowed him to be himself. But, he was beginning to realize, it was a big risk to allow someone to know _everything_ about you.

* * *

Makoto would never hurt him.

Haruka knew that with absolute and unwavering certainty. There wasn't a situation he could imagine where Makoto would abandon, hurt, or embarrass him. No, he couldn't imagine any circumstance in which Makoto would leave his side.

He also knew with absolute and unwavering certainty that he would never abandon, hurt or embarrass Makoto. He would never—_could _never—walk out of Makoto's life.

"Makoto." He didn't say it as a question, but Makoto looked at him with those wondering eyes anyways, so he took a deep breath and continued. "Why do you know me so well?"

"Haru?" Makoto questioned, sitting down on the bench and tossing the towel he was holding onto his head.

The locker room was now empty besides the two of them and Haru found himself somehow anxious to hear Makoto's answer. He wasn't sure why he had suddenly become so acutely aware of their closeness to each other, but he felt like he needed answers.

When Haruka offered no more, Makoto answered as best as he could. "Well, we've been together our whole lives. You're the closest person to me, of course I took the time to get to know you."

Makoto began to towel off his hair while Haruka stared into his locker, thinking over those words. It _was _true that they spent essentially their entire lives together. But he had known Nagisa for just as long and he didn't come close to understanding Haru as well as Makoto did.

"You know me just as well," Makoto tossed out casually, standing and placing the towel in his spot.

These words jolted Haruka and he realized that Makoto was right. He knew Makoto better than anyone else did. He could read every thought Makoto had in his eyes, he could read every movement Makoto made—hell, he could even predict what Makoto was about to do.

There wasn't anything Makoto could do that would surprise Haruka. There wasn't anything he could do that Haru wouldn't understand. He knew Makoto as well as he knew himself.

Haru turned around to see Makoto leaning against the lockers and staring at him. All it took was one look in each other's eyes for everything to suddenly become clear. Makoto could easily see the train of though Haru had been following all day. In fact, he had been waiting for this conversation. Haru let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and crossed to stand in front of his best friend.

Years of their relationship came crashing down around them all at once. _Of course_, they both seemed to realize at the same time. Things had always been different between them than normal friendships. They had always been fiercely protective of each other.

Haru knew Makoto had always been afraid of losing him. He had always known, and yet now he realized _why_. At the same moment, it seemed, Makoto realized why, too.

Makoto had always smiled when Haru adamantly stated that he would never, could never, don't even consider it, leave Makoto's side. Only once had he ever said that he didn't think he could face his future without Makoto there, but neither had forgotten it. And in this moment, the true meaning of those words seemed to hit them both as well.

Haruka was the first one to break the silence. He wasn't much of a talker when it came to anyone other than Makoto, but he had always been the first to dive into their serious conversations.

"You love me," He said. His words were gentle, unsurprised, and almost happy. His ocean eyes sparkled with an emotion Makoto hadn't seen in years. An emotion he hadn't seen directed at anything other than water.

"And you love me." Makoto replied in the same certain way. He smiled gently. Makoto was always smiling, Haru thought, but this was different. This wasn't big or flashy, it was small and intimate, just like the moment they were sharing.

Neither made a move to further the conversation. They could talk to each other about anything and everything, but they also needed time to process things alone. After all, their entire past seemed to have just shattered at their feet. It was a good change, they both thought as the walked home silently but comfortably, but change is still change.

* * *

The next morning, Makoto didn't even bother stopping by Haruka's house on the way to school. He left early and walked straight to their school and around to the pool. The cherry blossom trees were in full bloom and the warm air smelled sweet as he swept across his cheeks.

Just as expected, Makoto found Haru floating on his back in the pool, just a few feet from the edge. He had his eyes closed, but he straightened up just as Makoto approached the edge anyways.

"Good morning, Haru-chan." He smiled, reaching a hand out to help Haru out of the pool.

Haru took his hand willingly and allowed himself to be pulled from the pool and onto the concrete. A moment later he found a towel on his head and realized that he had, in fact, forgotten to bring one with him. Of course Makoto would know and plan ahead.

"Well, it looks like we might actually be on time to class for once," Makoto joked as he scooped Haruka's clothes off the ground and handed them over.

Haru rolled his eyes but didn't reply, setting off towards the locker rooms to change. Once he was done, he found Makoto sitting outside, his back against the wall and eyes closed as the spring bathed him in warm sunlight.

A warm breeze blew by, pushing Haru's still damp hair off his forehead. He smiled, a small smile that would be invisible to anyone besides Makoto, and sat down next to his best friend, his world, his security blanket.

"How are you, Haru?" Makoto asked in a quiet voice, his eyes still closed.

It was such an ordinary question, the kind he would ask anyone, but he wasn't simply looking for a _fine_, or _good, thanks._ He was looking for something deeper.

In lieu of an answer, Haru reached over and wrapped his hand around one of Makoto's that rested in his lap. Makoto finally opened his eyes then and turned to look at Haru. His eyes were bright and happy and the look he was giving Haru reconfirmed (as it very often did) his need to keep Makoto at his side always.

Haru could see Nagisa, Rei and Gou walking up the sidewalk towards them, Nagisa's arm raised above his head in greeting. He could see them and he still leaned in and placed his lips against Makoto's. Makoto kissed back, both of their eyes falling shut. The feeling was somewhere between perfectly right and completely indescribable and Haru made a mental note that he would have to experience it many, many more times.

Nagisa, Rei and Gou finally reached them just as the two parted. Makoto blushed and greeted the three, running a hand through his hair as he often did when he felt like he didn't know how to handle a situation. Haru stared at the three with a stoic expression on his face.

There was a moment of silence before Nagisa smiled at them both and simply said "It's about time."

The others agreed and they set off together, Nagisa changing the topic and rambling on as he usually did. Makoto fell in step behind the others and linked hands. Just the feeling of Makoto's hand seemed to brighten everything and Haru smiled to himself as he watched their feet move.

Makoto knew everything about him. He could read his thoughts with just one look. He could predict Haru's actions and handle his moods like nobody else. He knew Haru like he knew his favorite book—the one he had read and reread countless times. The one, Haru knew, was always on his nightstand, even if he wasn't reading it. Makoto loved that book so much he couldn't bear to have it very far away from him.

Quietly, Haru whispered to Makoto, bringing a smile to both of their faces. "I'm your favorite book and you're my security blanket."

And that became their "I love you."


	2. Freefall

"_So take my world, just take it all. I'd cross the earth to break your freefall."_

**Freefall: **(noun)

A decline, especially a sudden or rapid decline.

* * *

Makoto, for being as tall as he was, was afraid of quite a few things. His biggest fear, though, was the fear of falling. He was afraid of that weightless feeling in his stomach just before hitting the ground hard.

He had once had this discussion with Haru. Haru had asked Makoto if he was afraid of heights and Makoto had explained that _no, _it wasn't heights he was afraid of; it was falling from those heights. It was the feeling he got as he was momentarily suspended in the air. For that same reason, he hated roller coasters.

Ever since that day, Haru had always done what he could to prevent Makoto from having to face his fear. It wasn't often that something like that arose, but if it ever did, Haru insisted that he handle it and that Makoto keep his feet planted firmly on the ground.

* * *

The summer air was warm and the sun shone down. Makoto sat at the ends of the pool with his feet in the water as he leaned back on his hands with his face to the sky. His eyes were closed as he enjoyed the peaceful silence. A few feet away in the pool Haru floated on his back, eyes also closed.

Makoto breathed slowly and deeply, trying to soak up the relaxation that was surrounding him, but something kept nagging at the back of his mind. Lately he had been noticing a certain feeling—a _fluttering_ in his stomach. It was a feeling he was unaccustomed to and it made him unhappy. The feeling resembled that which he hated—the feeling he got just before a freefall.

With a sigh, Makoto laid all the way back and rested his back against the warm concrete. He laid his hands on his stomach as the feeling began to arise again. He couldn't pinpoint what caused the feeling, but it was happening more and more frequently. He first noticed it a few days ago on the way to school…

It was a warm day and the ocean sparkled a brilliant blue as he walked next to Haru. They chatted idly, but that was okay. All Makoto could seem to notice that day was how Haru's eyes were even more beautiful than the ocean.

The sound of water sloshing jolted Makoto from his thoughts. He opened his eyes to see Haru standing over him, dripping.

"You okay?" Haru asked as he toweled off his hair.

"A-ah, yeah!" Makoto sat up, fighting the blush that rose to his cheeks. He pulled his feet from the water and stood up as well, "I'm okay!"

"It's not like you to just space out," Haru commented casually.

Makoto noticed the way Haru looked at him. It was the look he got when Haru was trying to say "_don't you dare lie to me, because I'll know if you do"_. With another sigh he tousled his hair and replied quietly, "I've just got something on my mind. It's nothing."

Haru shrugged and picked his clothes up off the ground. Makoto knew Haru wasn't about to push the issue right now, but that he would also be paying closer attention. As they began to walk home for the day, the slight fluttering began to fill Makoto's stomach again.

* * *

Makoto liked to believe he was a very rational person. He liked to think that the things he did, he did for a good reason. This is why he found it completely fair to say he wasn't afraid of heights, he was afraid of falling.

So the fact that he couldn't explain away this feeling was bothering him. He paced around his room, worrying the hem of his shirt between his hands as he went. What was this feeling? Why did it only appear sometimes?

The feeling was starting to scare him. It really was. And what's worse than not even knowing what you're afraid of?

It was nearing the end of the school year and everyone was excited. The air was warm and they were allowed to wear shorts with their uniform; spirits were high.

* * *

Makoto walked out of his house early one morning, his usual smile on his face. He closed the door and turned to face the stairs that led to Haru's house, only to see Haru about halfway down the stairs, sitting with the little white kitten in his lap.

His smile grew bigger as he climbed the stairs, "Good morning, Haru-chan."

Haru looked up and his blue eyes met Makoto's green ones, "Good morning, Makoto."

And just like that, the feeling erupted.

* * *

For all it was worth, Makoto had been trying to simply ignore the feeling. If he couldn't figure out what was causing it, there was no point in giving it power over him.

His plan seemed to work decently. He still noticed the feeling as tingles spread down into his fingertips throughout the day, but he didn't react to them.

No, he wouldn't let it affect him as Haru held the door open for him. No, he wasn't going to acknowledge the feeling as Haru fed him the part of his lunch he didn't want. No, not even when Haru smiled would he let the feeling take over.

* * *

The feeling was coming more frequently, but that wasn't what bothered Makoto the most. What bothered him more was that it was also increasing in intensity. Now the feeling would get so strong he felt sick. That, or he felt like he was about to get knocked off his feet.

What bothered him most, however, was the fact that he was really starting to think he was dense. There _had_ to be a reason for this. There just had to be. Nothing happened without a reason and yet, he hadn't figured this one out yet.

Haru had asked him a few times what was wrong and Makoto had always deflected, insisting it wasn't something Haru would be able to help him with. Haru's increasing worry was hard to miss, however. In fact, Makoto was starting to worry about himself.

Finally one day, Makoto gave in. They were sitting on the roof alone for lunch and he knew that Nagisa and Rei had gone out to lunch so they wouldn't be bothered. When the feeling overcame him again and his hands began to shake, he finally turned to Haru.

"You know that feeling you get when you're falling?"

"Falling?" Haru echoed, looking up from his lunch.

Makoto nodded. He paused for a moment, trying to think of how he wanted to word it. "That feeling in your stomach… you know, the one that feels almost like _fluttering_ or something? That feeling you get right before you fall…?"

Haru nodded but didn't say anything. He looked at Makoto quizzically and it made the feeling in his stomach triple.

"Well I keep getting that feeling… It's not quite the same now, though. Now it feels more like… more like…"

"Butterflies?" Haru supplied quietly.

"Yes!" Makoto cried, momentarily relieved to know that Haru understood what he was saying, "Yes, exactly like butterflies."

They were quiet for a few moments. It wasn't uncomfortable, and Makoto knew Haru was thinking of the right way to reply. He took the minute or two to relish in the slight relief that came in finally admitting this to someone.

"Makoto," Haru said finally, "You're in love."

"W-what?" Makoto cried, turning to face his best friend. "Haru?"

Haru shrugged casually, "That's how everyone feels when they're in love. It's normal."

Before Makoto could protest or even ask Haru what being in love really felt like, the bell rang, signaling their need to return to class. They rose silently and walked back together.

Makoto could feel how red his face was, and now he felt panic in his stomach instead of butterflies. But that still didn't stop him from noticing the worried look Haru sent his way.

* * *

When the final bell rang, Makoto practically ran out of the classroom. Haru had to jog to catch up to him once he'd packed everything.

"Makoto!" He called as he neared his best friend. Finally Makoto relented and slowed to a pace that Haru could match. They were already away from the school and along the coast of the ocean. "What's wrong?"

Makoto opened his mouth to say something, but the look Haru shot him made him rethink his words. He stopped walking for a moment and Haru stopped next to him. Then all of a sudden Makoto launched into frantic pacing back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Haru watched quietly for a moment before reaching out and catching Makoto's wrist. "You're really starting to worry me."

"You're worried?" Makoto cried, throwing his hands in the air, "How do you think I feel?"

He resumed his frantic pacing, wringing his hands together in front of him. Rarely had Haru ever seen Makoto upset at all, and he didn't think he'd ever seen him _this_ upset.

"Just when I think I know what's happening, you tell me I'm in love!" He stops abruptly in front of Haru, his eyes wide. "In love? Me? Did you ever think that was possible?"

"Of course I did," Haru replied reasonably, "And so did you. You've always wanted to fall in love."

"But I wanted to fall in love with someone who would love me back." He placed his hands over his face for a moment before dragging them down.

"You're upset because you think they won't—"

"I'm upset because it makes sense! Love makes sense. That's it. I love someone. It makes perfect sense." Makoto dropped to the ground suddenly, laid back and draped an arm across his eyes, "I'm a fool."

Haru stood stunned for a moment. He had known Makoto for more years than he could probably remember and although Makoto was kind and outgoing, he knew nobody knew Makoto the way he did. In fact, he secretly prided himself on the way he knew Makoto. And yet, here Makoto was, upset and panicked and Haru had no idea what to do.

He sat down carefully at Makoto's side, "You're not a fool, Makoto, don't say that."

"I'm a fool, " He repeated back. Then he sighed, moved his arm away from his eyes and met Haru's apprehensive gaze, "Sorry, Haru. Let's just forget this happened, okay?"

Before Haru could even consider a response, Makoto was standing above him with a hand outstretched to him. Haru took it and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. They took off again in silence. _But,_ Haru thought to himself, _I never agreed to forget about this._

* * *

Finally, _finally_ the reason had clicked in Makoto's mind. Haru was right. He was in love. He had heard over and over again that _when you know, you know_, but he had never believed it. Yet here he was, suddenly in love and he just _knew._

He also finally realized why people called it _falling _in love. It was because you got that awful, terrible feeling in your stomach just before crashing down, like when you fall. And not only had he fallen in love hard, but he had crashed down just as hard, if not harder.

What could be worse than falling in love for the first time with someone who would never, could never love you back?

It simply reinforced Makoto's hatred of the freefall.

* * *

The next morning Makoto was determined to act like nothing had happened the day before. It was very rare that he lost his cool and he would never do it around anyone other than Haru, but that didn't mean he should have done it.

"Good morning, Haru-chan." He called, walking into the bathroom like normal and extending his hand to Haru who, as always, was soaking in the bathtub in his bathing suit.

Haru took Makoto's hand with no words, but he didn't miss the way Makoto glanced away momentarily.

Makoto turned to walk out, but Haru caught at his wrist, smiling to himself. He turned Makoto around and without a second of hesitation he leaned forward and kissed his best friend right on the lips.

"H-Haru!" Makoto sputtered after they broke apart.

The small smile remained on Haru's lips. "I take back what I said yesterday. You are a fool, Makoto."

Makoto stood stunned, staring at his best friend. His mind, which had been racing for weeks now, came to a screeching halt. Seeing the look on his face, Haru continued.

"You think I can't figure out what's happening? You think that I can't tell it's me you've fallen for?"

"H-Haru…" Makoto said again. He lowered his eyes, a bright red blush covering his cheeks. "I'm sorry Haru, I-"

"Makoto, you fool," Haru stepped up to him, "Did you really think I wouldn't catch you? After all, I'm the only one who knows you're afraid of falling."

And just like that, Makoto tipped over the edge. He didn't just fall; he plummeted towards the ground at a rate he didn't think possible. But waiting at the ground with his arms wide open was none other than Haru. And as Haru leaned up to kiss him again, successfully stopping his freefall, Makoto realized for the first time that he wasn't afraid anymore.


	3. The Kitten Look

Haru had always (lovingly) called Makoto a gentle giant. Makoto was without a doubt the tallest of their class, but he was also the nicest and the most motherly. Makoto would never hurt anyone; he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did.

That's why Makoto's love for cats (especially kittens) came as no surprise to Haru. On the very rare occasion that Haru was up and dressed for school in a timely manner, he would venture out to meet Makoto at the top of the stairs that stood between their houses. Without fail, he would always find Makoto crouched down playing with a small white kitten that seemed to be waiting for him every morning.

It didn't bother Haru. Why would it? It was sweet to see Makoto playing and laughing and just genuinely happy. Haru would never admit it out loud but he loved the way Makoto's eyes softened and the way his smile was smaller but just as warm.

"Makoto," Haru called, leaning against the railing at the top of the stairs.

"Oh!" Makoto set the kitten down and stood up, sparing it one last smile, "Ohayo, Haru." He quickly ascended the stairs to stand at his best friend's side. "I hope you weren't waiting long."

Haru shook his head casually, pushing off to walk along next to Makoto. They began the trek to school, Makoto rambling about how they would finally be on time for once.

Haru listened half heartedly, his mind wandering back to Makoto's expression as he looked at the kitten.

-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-

A lot of things made Makoto happy, Haru knew. Makoto loved spending time with his friends, swimming with them, hearing other people laugh, hot tea, two pillows on his bed and a good book.

That was a short list, of course. Makoto was generally very easy to please and always in a good mood. He was very outgoing and easy to be around. But nothing made him quite as happy as kittens, Haru thought.

In fact, Haru thought about this the entire time they were in class. He knew Makoto well enough to know this and he was certain nothing else melted Makoto the way kittens did.

-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-

As they walked home from school that day, Makoto reiterated a particularly funny instance from swimming practice. When Haru actually chuckled in response, Makoto looked at him with wide eyes.

Then his eyes softened and he smiled a small, warm smile that made Haru feel warm inside.

They stopped walking without either realizing it. Haru stared at Makoto for a long moment before asking:

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what, Haru?"

"Like you look at kittens."

Makoto chucked and reached out to tousle Haru's hair, "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not looking at you any different than normal."

Haru looked over Makoto's shoulder at the ocean as he thought. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that it was true, Makoto had always looked at him the way he looked at kittens. He had always had that pure, genuine happiness in his eyes when he smiled at Haru. And although he smiled all the time, he seemed to have a separate smile reserved just for Haru.

Well, for Haru and kittens.

"But… Kittens make you so happy," Haru replied, almost to himself.

"So do you, Haru." Makoto said as if it were nothing.

Haru looked back up at him, surprised and pleased. He didn't know why but the warmth he had felt before was spreading all the way to his fingers and toes.

"Honestly," Makoto waved a hand in between them casually, "Sometimes it's like you have no idea how I feel."

"I always know how you feel!" Haru protested.

"Then why are you surprised right now?"

Haru didn't have an answer to that. He dropped his head in response.

"Haru, you've been my best friend my whole life. You're more than my best friend; you're basically my other half. And while it's true that I love kittens, I would never pet another kitten again if it meant getting to see you smile every day. I don't know where you've been for our whole lives if this news comes as a surprise to you because I'm pretty sure everybody but you knows."

Haru looked up at him then, almost expectantly. He looked into the green eyes that had stood by his side his whole life. He looked at the boy he loved watching; the one who handled kittens so delicately in his big hands. He knew the boy standing before him. So well, in fact, the next words really didn't surprise him, even though he thought they would.

"I love you, Haru. I think I always have."

The confession was simple. He didn't pour on more emotion than Haru could handle and he didn't state it in a demanding way. No, it didn't demand Haru's attention or response. It didn't ask for anything to change between them. He said he loved Haru as casually as he would tell someone he loved kittens. He said it like it was nothing more than a part of who he was.

A silence settled around them, but it was comfortable. Makoto didn't act as if he had just poured his heart out or put himself on the line, and in a way, he hadn't. He hadn't said anything that Haru didn't know. Perhaps Haru had never put words to the ideas and feelings before, but he wasn't surprised. He hadn't left himself open for rejection, either. No, he and Haru were too close, too much one solid unit, for Haru to ever reject him.

Haru may love water, but he needed Makoto to live.

"Anyways," Makoto broke the silence, speaking mildly and smiling the casual smile that Haru was almost certain was just his natural look, "We should get going. I have to get home to Ren and Ran, my parents are gonna be out late tonight."

They started to walk home again and Makoto chatted idly on like he always did. Haru's mind was running at a million miles an hour, though. He had just received a love confession, right? So why didn't it feel more… _serious_? Why didn't it feel life changing? Isn't that what was supposed to happen.

They reached Haru's house first and Makoto bid him farewell and continued on his way home. Haru watched his back retreat, stunned almost, at how normal this all felt. At how normal _everything_ with Makoto felt.

"Makoto!" He called, running after his best friend. Somewhere along the way he threw his backpack to the ground, but he wasn't honestly sure where. He didn't know exactly what he was doing and he sure as hell didn't know what he was about to say, but everything in him told him _No, don't let Makoto go._

Makoto turned around at the sound of his name and paused, waiting for his best friend to catch him. Haru came at him full force and, instead of stopping, crashed right into Makoto, wrapping his arms around Makoto's neck and causing them both to stumble a few steps.

"Don't go," Haru murmured, his head turned away but his arms tight around Makoto. "Don't leave."

"Haru," Makoto was taken aback, though no unpleasantly, "You know you're always welcome at my house. You can come with me now if you don't mind Ren and Ran."

"No," Haru's voice hitched and his face turned red. He never expressed his emotions. He never needed to; Makoto always knew what he was going to say. But this time, whether Makoto knew his thoughts or not, he had to voice them. "Don't leave me. Ever."

"I'm not going anywhere. I would never. What is this all about?"

"I love you, too," Haru blurted out, surprising them both. His face turned even redder as he buried is face in Makoto's shoulder. After a moment, he mumbled against the fabric of Makoto's shirt, "I do. I love you."

Gently Makoto pushed on Haru's shoulders to move him away and get a clear view at his face. Haru looked stubbornly away at the ocean, the blush slowly fading from his cheeks. Finally, he looked back, only to see Makoto looking at him with that look. The kitten look. The look that made him fall in love years ago.

Makoto pulled him closer again and gently kissed his forehead before tousling Haru's hair affectionately again.

"I love you," Makoto repeated, relishing the way it flustered Haru. To him, it had been natural. Falling in love and spending his life with Haru was something that it seemed like everyone saw in his future, not just him. He was just relieved to know Haru saw it, too.

"I love you, too." Haru replied. After a moment, he added, "And, you don't even have to give up kittens."

Makoto laughed and kissed his cheek, "Thanks, Haru."


	4. Song Challenge

**A/N: **So I've done these song challenges before and I think they're really fun. I wanted to try my hand at MakoHaru. I hope you guys like them! As you'll see, I have a lot of Taylor Swift on my iTunes.

Anyways, the rules are posted below. If you've never given it a shot, do so! It's a lot of fun but a lot more challenging than you could possibly imagine. And if you happen to comment, do me a favor and just let me know which of the 10 was your favorite, I'm always curious! Thank you!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_Instructions:  
1. Pick a character, fandom, pairing, friendship, whatever.  
2. Put on your music program on shuffle/random and start playing songs.  
3. For each song, write something inspired by the song related to the theme you chose earlier. You only have the song length. No pre-planning and no writing after the song is over. No skipping songs either. Yeah...  
4. Do 10 songs and post. Make sure to include the song name/artist._

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**Superman- Taylor Swift**

Haruka had always thought of Makoto as a sort of hero; he always knew what to say and do or what needed to be done. It was uncanny, but he loved it. If he forgot his towel, his homework, his lunch… Makoto always seemed to be able to anticipate these sorts of things and come prepared with whatever he was missing.

He also considered Makoto a hero at home. The way he was able to run around with his siblings, maintain his homework and help his parents while never appearing to break a sweat was impressive and baffling. Sometimes Haru found himself simply standing in a corner, watching Makoto work his magic and waiting for him to come back.

Lots of people loved Makoto, but nobody seemed to know this side of him. For that reason, Haru started to consider him his own personal Superhero. Someone he could look up to and love; someone he knew would be willing to swoop in at any given moment to save him and bring him back to safety.

And like any good Superhero, Makoto was sweet and gentle. It only took Haru a short time after realizing that he knew a superhero's secret identity to realize that he had, in fact, also fallen in love with him.

But he didn't love Makoto because he was a Superhero; capable of feats Haru thought would forever remain unmatched by everyone. He loved him because he was Makoto. Because at night, he put on his polka dot pajamas and climbed into bed and was vulnerable. He loved him because he could see straight through to his heart, and perhaps that was Haru's superpower.

**Animal- Neon Trees**

When Haru fell in love with Makoto, he really _fell—_Hard, fast and all at once. He had known Makoto for as long as he could possibly remember, he had always protected him and wanted to keep him safe. But for years he just considered that normal behavior for a best friend.

And then suddenly, it progressed.

Part of him thought it was when Makoto helped pull him out of the pool, only to slip on a puddle that someone (_Nagisa!_) had created on the cement. The two of them toppled to the ground together, landing on top of each other in a tangled heap of limbs.

Now, this didn't faze him at first. They had shared beds before; they had fallen asleep together, tangled in sheets and each other and it was normal for them. But when he was laying in bed that night, trying to sleep and picturing nothing but the blush on Makoto's cheeks as he apologized and the warmth of skin underneath him, he realized that they hadn't just fallen to the ground.

At least, he hadn't. In that moment, he had fallen in love. Head over heels, completely and utterly in love. But it didn't scare him like he always thought falling in love would.

If he were to fall in love with anybody, there couldn't be a better choice than the person he had always considered his other half anyways.

**I Like That- Before You Exit**

It wasn't often that anyone saw it, but when Haruka smiled, it meant a lot to everyone. Everyone, including Makoto, who suddenly felt like fireworks had gone off in his stomach when he received one of Haru's rare smiles.

It was funny, Makoto realized one day as he sat in the still empty pool, staring at Haru while he was working, that just a smile could make him feel that way. He knew with unwavering certainty that Haru could convince him to do damn near anything with that smile.

Let's rephrase; Haru could convince him to do damn near anything. Period.

Makoto knew the things people liked and hated about Haru; namely the fact that he was so closed off and antisocial (or so it seemed to outsiders). But there wasn't anything about him that Makoto hated. He sometimes got frustrated with Haru—such a thing was inevitable—but he didn't hate anything Haru did. He couldn't.

To hate something Haru did was to hate something about Haru and he had nothing but pure, unconditional love for the boy he had watched grow up. For the one he could read clearly from miles away. No, he loved everything Haru did.

**Sweeter Than Fiction- Taylor Swift**

Makoto had watched Haru grow up. He had always known what swimming meant to Haru and he had never—not even one single time—questioned Haru's need for water. The only thing he saw in that love was a chance for him to provide. He would always find a way to provide Haru with a chance to swim because he knew, deep down inside, that Haru would make something great of himself with swimming.

He may not become famous, but he would be the greatest version of himself. And if there was one thing in this world that Makoto was sure it, it was that Haru would be able to move mountains someday if he put his mind to it.

So he provided Haru with love, support and water. And through it all, he never lost his belief that Haru could change the world. And when Haru was happy, Makoto felt like the stars had aligned and granted him with a gift.

In the moments that Haru stood tall and proud, ready to face the future and confident that he could do whatever he wanted, Makoto could smile and think to himself that he always knew this was in Haru. He always knew this was waiting to break out.

And though many people came to Haru and tried to get close to him, nobody ever succeeded. Because Haru knew that he had only come this far because of Makoto. He knew that the one who had stood by his side without fail all these years was Makoto and that nobody besides him deserved to share in his triumph.

**When the Darkness Comes- Colbie Caillat**

Makoto was afraid of the water. Of course, nobody besides Haruka knew that extended to all water, not just the ocean, and he intended to keep it that way. It was one thing to share his fear of the ocean with Rei and Nagisa, but he only did so because the situation called for it. Had things not happened that way, he probably never would have told them.

That being said, he had a distinct fondness for rain, specifically taking long walks in it. He loved the way the day would turn dark and he could sneak away unnoticed and blend into the shadows. He loved that for some time, he could just be peaceful. No responsibilities, nobody needing him to look after them, nothing but him and his thoughts.

That quickly changed, however. During one particularly stormy night, he found himself standing on the beach watching the ocean turn in upon itself, wondering what exactly it was that awaited them all between the dark waves.

"Makoto!" He heard his name. He spun quickly only to see Haru standing a few feet away, hand shielding his eyes from the rain that had already soaked through his clothes completely. "Makoto!"

He walked towards Haru as Haru moved towards him. They met somewhere in the middle and immediately Makoto could feel himself fussing over Haru. "Haru? What are you doing out here! You'll catch a cold!"

"I could say the same about you," Haru replied, brushing away Makoto's worrying hands. "Why are you here? It's not safe by the ocean."

Makoto could hear the words Haruka wasn't saying. _"What are you doing here when you're so terrified of the ocean?"_

"I don't know," He admitted honestly. "I like to get away during the storms and have some time to myself. I often find myself here, wondering what exactly it is that makes me love this water," He points up towards the dark clouds above, "And terrified of this water," he points out towards the dark, swirling ocean.

"Well," Haru said, walking towards the water a little bit, "I'll wait while you figure it out."

"E-eh?" Makoto followed his best friend. "But I haven't figured it out yet and this has been going on awhile, and I don't want you to get sick."

"Don't face your fears alone, Makoto." Haru said suddenly, turning to face him earnestly. "Don't get lost in the darkness. You always have me at your side."

Makoto smiled then, truly happy for the first time in awhile. Haruka was the reason he loved swimming. He was the reason Makoto had braved the ocean after years of being terrified of it and almost drowned. He could be the reason Makoto braved the ocean again, despite his endless bad luck with it. Haruka was his reason for many things, and now he was also Makoto's reason for feeling at ease.

"Thanks, Haru." He said, taking a seat on the beach and staring at the ocean.

Haru sat next to him and they talked quietly amongst themselves. It became a routine, then, that whenever it stormed, they would walk to the beach and get lost in the darkness together, finally able to just be themselves and be with each other.

**I want Crazy- Hunter Hayes**

Haru had thought many times about what being in love would be like. He saw those relationships at school where the boy had to do everything for the girl and she never seemed grateful. But he also saw the ones where the girl did everything she possibly could and yet never was appreciated.

He didn't want love like that.

He wanted love where he could be himself. Where he could laugh endlessly (not that he did that often as it was, but still) and spend every day with them. He knew relationships didn't come without fights, but he wanted someone who could go from crazy mad to laughing in no time flat. Someone who made him feel like he was worth it, no matter what his mood was.

He found that in Makoto.

Makoto was the one who would pull Haru in and kiss him in the middle of a sentence because he didn't want to fight anymore. If Haru did laugh for some reason, he knew Makoto would simply cherish it, instead of acting like it was the end of the world. Makoto knew him inside and out and yet he still managed to light a fire in Haru's heart that he never knew he could feel.

It didn't matter if it was something as small as walking home from school, Haru felt like he was always having an amazing time when they were together. Sometimes Makoto would grab his hand and just run and even though they never had a destination, Haru found himself swept away and entirely thrilled at the action anyways.

He found a love that made him feel crazy. He went out of his mind in love with Makoto and somehow Makoto still made him feel like this was totally natural.

**Our Song- Taylor Swift**

Makoto had often heard people saying that couples were supposed to have a "song". One that applied to their relationship and made them think of each other. But try as he might, Makoto couldn't think of what their song could possibly be. Neither of them really paid much attention to music, so he was at a loss for ideas.

But then one day he was sitting at the side of the pool while Haru swam and the idea finally hit him.

"Haru!" He called. Haru popped up from under water almost immediately as if he had been waiting for Makoto's call all along. "I've figured out our song!"

Haruka had known that Makoto was trying to figure out their song for some time now, and he didn't particularly care to have one, but if it meant something to Makoto, then it meant something to him. So he swam over, pulled himself out of the pool and tossed a towel on his head, waiting for Makoto to elaborate.

"Our song," He says without further ado, "Is the sound of water splashing. It's the feeling of warm sun on our skin and the laughter of our team. It's calling to each other, fighting over video games and the feeling of your hand in mine."

Haru looked up, pulling the towel off his head, fully interested now. This wasn't at all what he had been expecting.

"It's the way we speak with just a look, you standing up for me and you cooking me mackerel."

Softly, Haru smiled and decided to play along, "It's the way you smile just for me and how your eyes sparkle when something pleases you. It's how you love kittens and are always taking care of everyone."

"Yes!" Makoto was thrilled. Beyond thrilled, really, that Haru was participating. "It's the look on your face when you see water and how elegantly you swim. It's the way we fit together like it's nothing. That's our song, Haru."

Haru stood finally, walked over to his boyfriend and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. After a moment, he pulled back and smiled up at his boyfriend. It was one of those rare smiles that made Makoto's world whole, "I like our song."

"I love our song," Makoto agreed, just before Haru dove back into the pool, starting their song all over again.

**Treacherous- Taylor Swift**

Makoto remembered when he realized he was in love with Haru. He remembered feeling like he was standing at the bottom of a mountain with nothing but an impossible climb ahead of him. He remembered being terrified to see Haru after that, but also knowing that he couldn't go without Haru. That Haru couldn't go without him.

Carefully, he climbed. The slope was treacherous and he felt like he would take two steps forwards and one step back, but everything was worth it to him. When Haru smiled at him, he felt himself entirely swept away. It was moments like that that he knew the climb would be worth it.

Finally one day he reached the top. He hadn't realized quite how close he was, but there he stood on the edge, waiting to be pushed one way or another.

He was sitting in the sand on the beach as Haru came back towards him and without thinking he simply said, "I love you."

In an instant he had his hand over his mouth and his face was beet red. He had wanted to say those words for a long time, it was true, but there were plenty of better ways to do it. He felt like he was toppling back to the bottom of the mountain, all the progress he had made was about to be destroyed.

Instead, Haru's steps never faltered. He continued walking and plopped down next to Makoto with nothing more than, "I know, I love you, too."

And suddenly everything he had ever done was worth it.

**Stay, Stay, Stay- Taylor Swift**

The two rarely fought with each other. They usually knew each other too well and could predict the other's actions well enough to avoid any hurt feelings or stepping on each other's toes. However, there were times where they did fight.

In fact, when they fought, it usually involved a lot of yelling, which was uncharacteristic of both of them. But then the fights would end and one would walk up to the other and pull them into a hug, asking them to stay.

Every relationship had problems and that was totally fine. Their relationship had far more good than bad and they had been together and in love for so long, they thought of being separated was unbearable to them both. They had completely memorized each other and would never be willing to put that work into anyone else. Nobody else could be worth it.

Because despite their fights, they loved each other with an unmatched ferocity. So when the fight was over, they would cuddle up and reassure each other that their love would never, _could never_ falter.

**Mockingbird- Rob Thomas**

Makoto and Haruka stood facing each other on the concrete next to the pool. Everyone stood around them, staring at them with the same smiles they always gave. Makoto could feel his eyes watering as he stared at Haruka.

Suddenly and without warning, he turned on his heels and sprinted off the school grounds. He didn't stop for his backpack and clothes, he didn't stop for anything, he just ran. Of course the others couldn't see it. While they were his friends and he treasured them dearly, he couldn't let them see the real him: the one inside. They wouldn't look close enough at his eyes to see the tears forming. Only Haruka could look at him and see it. But why would Haruka care? Haru was the one causing all the pain anyways.

Not that Haru did it intentionally, of course. He would never forgive himself if he knew he was hurting Makoto. In fact, he wouldn't forgive himself for not figuring out what was wrong. So without a moment's hesitation he took off after Makoto, leaving the others behind and sprinting as fast as he could. Unfortunately Makoto was taller than him, had longer legs and was able to take bigger, faster strides, leaving Haru more or less in the dust. Fortunately, Haru knew Makoto well enough to predict where he was going and catch up to him anyways.

He walked down the beach and to a small cave they had discovered together years ago. Despite the number of times they had been to the beach with the others, they had never shared this cave with them. This was their place and they had no intention of ever including anyone else on their secret.

He walked into the small cave to see Makoto pacing circles around the cave like he did when he was worried or upset, running his hands angrily through his hair.

"Makoto?" Haru ventured carefully into the cave.

Makoto stopped his pacing immediately, fitting a smile to his face and turning to face the other, "A-ah! Haru! What are you doing here?"

Haru walked in and stood next to his friend. Of course he could see past that smile. All it took was one look into his eyes to see that he was still on the verge of tears. "What's wrong?"

"What do you-?"

"Tell me what's wrong."

Haru said it gently, not forcefully, but the tone of his voice made Makoto crack. Tears welled up in his eyes again as he looked anywhere but his friend, clearly not able to stop the words tumbling out of his mouth.

"I'm losing you, Haru. I've tried to be supportive. I've tried to give you what you want. I just feel like no matter what happens, you're going to disappear and I'm not ready to lose you. I won't ever be ready for that."

Haru looked up, stunned. He had very rarely felt completely stunned, but this moment had him. Losing him? Makoto thought he was losing him? For a moment Haru considered laughing at the absurdity of the situation. _Of course!_ Things always get so twisted, don't they?

"Makoto." Haru looked up at him. He had never been one to shy away from things like this and much preferred to deal with them directly and honestly. It had taken Makoto a long time to get accustomed to that, but they had eventually found a balance that worked for them. "This is my fault and I acknowledge that and I'm sorry."

"No, Haru—"

"Please, let me just say this." It was unlike Haruka to plead but this situation was so unlike anything either of them had experienced that it didn't even matter. "I understand why you feel that way. I've been pulling away and shutting you out and I know that I have been. It's been intentional."

Hurt flashed across Makoto's face for only a moment, but it was one of the longest moments of Haru's life.

"I've done it because I've been trying to protect you. To keep you happy. You like things how they are, don't you? Well, I don't. I want more. I want to be more than just best friends with you. And I understand that you don't want that and I'm not offended, I've spent a lot of time making sure I can come to terms with that. But part of coming to terms with it was pulling away and I'm sorry it hurt you, that was never my intention."

Finally taking a deep breath, Haru allowed himself to assess Makoto's reaction. Tears were sliding down his cheeks finally and the sight broke Haru's heart. However, as he looked closer, he saw that Makoto was _smiling._

Before anymore could be said, Makoto reached out and pulled Haru to him, hugging him tighter than Haru could handle. After a moment he fought his way out and caught his breath, entirely caught off guard.

"Don't you dare pull away from me like that ever again," Was all Makoto said, but Haru knew what it meant.

He could feel it in his heart; the way the pieces repaired themselves. He could feel Makoto's acceptance of his love filling him and bubbling over, making him truly smile at his best friend. Maybe they weren't meant to be friends; they were always meant to be more.


	5. Drowning In You

**A/N: I've always wanted to explore the idea of how Makoto's almost drowning could have affected Haru, so here's my take on one of the other possible outcomes. I had a lot of fun writing this, but it's emotionally draining, too. I hope you guys enjoy. Comments and always appreciated!**

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Haru had never been so scared in his life. Nothing had ever left him feeling as empty as he did now, staring at his best friend's unconscious body on the beach. His head was screaming at him to do something, anything, but all he seemed to be able to manage was staring. Staring and trembling.

He reached out cautiously to touch Makoto and suppressed a shudder at how cold he felt. Just the water, Haru told himself as he forced his body to comply finally. It's the water on his skin that's cold, not his skin itself.

He looked Makoto over once—no injuries. With a deep breath he moved his body forward, not feeling the rain on his shoulders or the way his hair stuck to his face. He couldn't feel anything beside the gap that was opening up in his heart and threatening to swallow him whole. For the first time he was thankful for how much they had been forced to practice CPR, because his body was acting on auto-pilot and that was the only way anything was going to get done.

With trembling fingers, he reached out to pinch Makoto's nose and leaned over him, ready to start his breaths. Just before he could begin, Makoto jerked to his side and began coughing. The instantaneous relief Haru felt was something he didn't think he would ever be able to describe.

"Makoto! Makoto!" He called, fighting the urge to reach out and shake Makoto.

"Ha…ru…ka?" Makoto's green eyes searched the sky for a moment before settling on Haru's blue ones.

Carefully Haru reached out to touch Makoto and in that moment, he realized nothing could ever scare him more than this. He couldn't imagine a worse nightmare.

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Nagisa was laughing loudly in the pool, splashing Rei and Gou, if she ever dared come close enough to the edge of the pool. The three of them were in high spirits as they talked and enjoyed the warm weather of the summer.

Makoto sat at the edge of the pool with his feet in the water, leaning back on his hands and looking up at Haru who was perched on one of the diving boards, legs pulled up to his chest.

"Don't you want to go in?" Makoto prompted, nodding his head towards the pool.

Haru didn't reply, but he slid his eyes to Makoto, then to the pool, and finally away from both of them and off in the distance. That was all Makoto needed to know that the answer was no. For the first time in their entire lives, he found himself unable to get Haru in the pool.

Nanase Haruka had turned down the chance to go swimming.

While Makoto sat quietly next to him, worried about Haru, Nagisa swam over and reached up, trying to get his hands on Haru's ankles. Haru backed away slightly and, when Nagisa persisted, he stood up and left entirely. He picked his backpack up and began the walk home with no warning.

Makoto scrambled up, apologizing to everyone and offering them quick goodbyes before scooping his own backpack off the ground and chasing after Haru.

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Haru had started meeting Makoto at the top of the stairs between their houses in the morning. In fact, Makoto would walk out to find Haru already sitting on the top step, watching the sky.

Haru insisted that he was fine, but Makoto was completely unnerved. He didn't mind change, but these were drastic changes. This was Haru being someone other than Haru and it was starting to really worry Makoto.

As a last-ditch effort, Makoto stopped walking on their way to school and turned to his dark-haired best friend. "What do you say we skip school today and take a beach day?"

Haru scoffed.

"I'm serious!" Makoto stepped in front of Haru, blocking his path, "You haven't been in the water as much as normal and I'm sure it's killing you. It's the end of the semester and we've both been really good with studying, we can take one day off and go to the beach."

"I don't want to go to the beach," Haru said, turning his head away. And Makoto couldn't help but notice that Haru was staring towards the town and not out towards the ocean like he always was.

"But, the water-!"

"I don't want to go in the water!" The force behind Haru's words surprised Makoto. Haru looked at him levelly, his face just as indifferent as always, but Makoto felt his heart shatter in his chest. Something was truly wrong with Haru.

"Haru…" Makoto reached out to gently touch his best friend, placing his hand against Haruka's neck. "Tell me what this is about."

Haru stared as stubbornly as ever out towards the town, his mouth set in a hard line. It was clear from his expression that he had no intent of telling Makoto what was wrong. But the longer Makoto looked, the more he noticed the subtleties of Haru's expression. He could see the look in Haru's eyes—fear. He could see the way Haru was biting on the corner of his lip—a nervous habit of his that Makoto had thought died years ago.

Perhaps the habit hadn't died, it was just that Haru hadn't been upset in years.

Makoto sighed and moved his hand to Haru's shoulder, giving it a squeeze, "When you're ready to tell me what happened, we'll talk about it, alright?"

He didn't get a reply, but he could see Haru looking at him out of the corner of his eyes. He could see the relief that seemed to replace the fear in those beautiful blue eyes. Without another word they fell in line next to each other again and began their walk to school like none of this had ever happened.

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It had been a little over a week since Makoto had confronted Haruka and yet Haru still kept his secret locked away. It had been a week of Haru shutting everyone out and refusing to participate in anything social and Makoto rushing to say they already had plans or needed to take care of his siblings to cover for Haru's mood.

The others seemed to take it at face value and not push any further. At one point they had been suspicious of why Haru had stopped swimming but once Makoto had insisted that Haru had injured his shoulder and Haru hadn't disputed, they let it go.

Makoto was getting more anxious every day that passed without an explanation from Haru, but he knew that pressing the issue would never get him anywhere. He had to wait for Haruka to decide it was time to talk about it and nothing but time could help him make that decision. Makoto just hoped the time would come soon, lest he go insane from worry.

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It was the last day of school and Makoto and Haruka finished their finals at almost exactly the same time. Haru walked out of his class to see Makoto walking up, backpack on and ready to go.

Makoto smiled his usual smile (one that was growing more and more tired and worried, Haru noticed) as he raised his hand in slight greeting. "Ready to go home?"

"Actually," Haru replied, falling in step next to him, "I think we should take a detour to the beach."

Makoto agreed without hesitation, hopeful that he was finally going to get to the bottom of all that had been troubling Haru. On their way, they talked about their exams and how excited they were to be done with school. Makoto longed to mention that they could be using their free time to swim more, but he knew better than to bring it up now. Haru had to start the conversation.

They finally made it to the beach and took a seat on an outcropping of rocks, decently far away from where the waves lapped idly at the shore. They sat next to each other, so close that their knees were touching. Neither moved further away.

After a minute Haru finally sighed and spoke up, "I'm sorry," he said, "For worrying you."

Makoto didn't reply. He knew there was nothing he could say.

"I just—" Haru broke off, running a hand through his hair. Makoto watched him as he gathered his words and noticed the way he was biting his lip again. "I almost lost you." He said finally, looking up earnestly into Makoto's face, "The water tried to take you away from me."

Makoto was shocked, "Haru—"

Haru continued talking, seeming to force the words out. The look he shot Makoto pleaded with him to just listen for now. He just needed to get this out. "I was so scared. The water—you know how much I trusted the water. I knew you were afraid of it, but I never knew why. And now I know. You're right, there's something dark lurking down there. It's just waiting to claim its prey. And that prey was almost you, Makoto."

Makoto reached out and touched Haru's cheek. His eyes were shining with what Haru realized to be tears. Panicked, Haru reached out and touched Makoto's cheeks, too.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry, Haru. If only I had known. I don't want to come between you and the water. I know how important it is to you. And I—I ruined that. I'm so sorry."

"No!" Haru leaned closer, "You didn't ruin this. You don't get to apologize. You almost died. The water almost killed you and you're apologizing? Makoto, why can't you see? It's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done."

Multiple times since the incident had happened, Makoto had felt guilty for the way things had happened. He shouldn't have locked up like that. Nobody should have had to save him. He should have saved Rei. He dragged everyone else into this when he should have been able to handle it himself.

"You need the water," Makoto protested weakly.

"I need you." Haru said firmly. He scooted so he was sitting on a rock directly across from Makoto, their gazes level. "I need you, Makoto. I can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You don't always have control over that."

The feeling was creeping back up Haru's spine. For years he had felt like they were invincible. He knew that Makoto would never willingly leave his side and he had always left it at that. But this had been a rude awakening that Makoto didn't always have a choice in whether or not he got to stay around. That knowledge had continued to haunt Haru, popping up at the worst time to make him afraid all over again.

"Makoto." Haru was exasperated. He knew Makoto would react like this. He knew Makoto would feel guilty and insist that Haru needed water more than anything else. But Makoto didn't understand. "Do you remember how you felt when you found out about the fisherman? Do you remember that fear that settled in your stomach? You couldn't push it away, could you? I know you tried to and yet you're still afraid of the ocean. You can't control it."

"No, but—"

"I can't control this, either." At some point Haru had grasped Makoto's hands in his own and he was shaking them as he spoke, almost as if to emphasize his point. "The fear I felt when I saw you laying there is something I'll never be able to shake. You had almost drowned in the ocean and I sat there, drowning in you. I was drowning in fear and memories of you and everything we've been through, and I wasn't sure that we would get to make any more memories, and that's a terrifying feeling. You can't talk me out of this."

There was a long silence between them then. They both took shuddering breaths, trying to calm down and get back to a reasonable state. At no point did either pull their hands away, though. Something about the connection made them feel grounded to each other and it was a feeling they both needed.

Finally Makoto squeezed Haru's hands and looked up at him with the ghost of a smile, "Well I'm sorry, Haru. But whatever you decide to do, you know I'm there with you."

Those words cut straight through to Haru's heart. In that moment he overflowed with love for the boy who sat across from him. He had always cared about Makoto but suddenly he loved Makoto, wholly and completely. Makoto, who would do anything for Haru. Makoto, who almost drowned and then apologized for it.

Haru tugged on Makoto's hands until they were both standing. Haru pulled his hands free and stepped forward to pull Makoto into a hug. They embraced, still full of a mixture of emotions, and simply held each other for a few moments. Then, just as they began to pull away, Haru turned his head and planted a quick kiss against Makoto's neck.

"I know," Haru said with a small smile, settling back into his place on the rock.

They stayed there in silence, watching the sun set and enjoying each other's company.

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A few days had gone by and things had settled back into a normal routine for both of the boys. Haru continued to meet Makoto in the mornings at the top of the stairs and they would go out and spend their day together, doing whatever they felt like on any given day.

They had been enjoying each other's company more than usual. It seemed that they had managed to get closer after their long talk about their now shared fear of the Ocean and water in general.

And while Makoto couldn't deny that his heart swelled with love when he thought about the fact that Haru chose him over water, he still wanted to find a way for Haru to be able to have both.

Today he led Haru to the beach, despite the apprehensive looks he was getting from his partner. He grabbed Haru's hand and led them both right up to the edge of the water, only pausing to remove their shoes. Then, grabbing Haruka's hand again, Makoto pulled them into the water so that they were about mid-calf deep.

"Haru," Makoto turned to look at him, gripping both of his hands tightly, "I'm not going to let you give up water."

"Makoto, we talked—"

"No." Makoto looked at Haru and then out to the ocean, "When I was scared of the ocean, you are the one who got me through it. You were the reason I still wanted to swim. And now, I'm going to be that for you. I'm the reason your afraid, so I'm going to be the reason you get over that fear and get back your love."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes." Makoto turned his gaze back to Haru then, "Completely. We'll do this together."

Haru smiled, feeling the overflow of emotion again. They had been through a lot in their past and they had so many wonderful memories together, but Haru had never appreciated Makoto as much as he should have. It wasn't until he almost lost Makoto that he realized how important the boy was to him. When Makoto had woken up and looked at him, Haru had vowed to never take him for granted again.

"Thank you." Haru said, "But promise me this: no more drowning."

Makoto broke out in a smile and Haru allowed himself a moment to appreciate how much he enjoyed seeing Makoto smile. Then, without warning, Makoto reached out and cupped Haru's face, puling it closer until he was kissing his best friend. Haru stumbled a few steps forwards so that they were more level and arched back to better fit his lips to Makoto's.

After a moment they pulled apart slightly and Makoto placed two more short kisses against Haru's lips before stepping away completely.

Breathless but happy, Makoto replied, "Only drowning in each other, okay?"


End file.
